A Lesson in the Dishes
On being sustained
It was a Tuesday on a week where daddy had been traveling for two back to back weeks. The previous Tuesday the water in the dishwasher wouldn’t empty and this Tuesday I came home to a puddle of water on our hardwood floor. It always seems to happen on a Tuesday when daddy is gone - something breaks.
This particular Tuesday was at the beginning of a very full week with dance rehearsal every night for for my girl as well as hosting our weekly community group that night. Before we rushed off to dance there was homework and demands for help from the kids while I also tried to hand wash all the dishes I had pulled from our faulty dishwasher. I was juggling a lot of things.
We managed to get everything done as we rushed out the door for practice. I picked up Chipotle on the way home with the plan of making life a tad easier - no dinner cleanup and, bonus, leftover lunch for the next day. We ate and picked up just in time before our friends arrived for group. We did it!
Just then, our community group friends came bursting through our door and asked how things were. I sarcastically blurted out that Brian had been traveling for two weeks, we had dance that went late every night this week and my dishwasher decided to break and leak water all over my floor during one of our busiest weeks to date. In that moment, those were my circumstances; however, it was not my reality.
Later that night I was convicted. Those were not the words I wanted my kids to hear, that was not the message I wanted to communicate. Because although those circumstances were difficult (and even a bit comical if I took a step back), my reality was that even in all of the intensity and rushing, God was sustaining me. Over the last 15 months that my husband has been traveling, there are specific moments and situations where I see God’s hand providing for me. I’m not always patient or present the way I want to be, I can speak harshly when things feel rushed or overwhelming when I’m solo parenting, but I can almost always look back and see his Spirit abiding in me, persevering in the challenging, offering grace when it would be easy to fall into despair.
That next day I needed to apologize. I shared with my kids the gratitude I had and blessing I feel over their dad’s willingness to provide for our family, as well as my partnership with him in saying ‘yes’ to this season of him traveling. I told them that I fully support the extracurricular things they choose to do and gladly serve them as I chauffeur them to the activities that bring them joy. Most importantly, I expressed my deep acknowledgement of the grace that God has greatly given to me as He sustains me through it all. My reality is that I serve a God who grants me grace when I mess up, sustaining life when it feels like it’s too much and the freedom to love and grow alongside my kids. Those are the words I want to be passed down to them - the blessing of this life, the sustaining work of His abiding Spirit and the richness that is found in extending and receiving grace.